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9 simple steps to keeping a wonderful and admirable relationship.

What do we stand to gain from this relationship?  Where do we want it to lead us to?

There is no precise manual to follow or read to attain a perfect relationship but there are steps to take to create and maintain a healthy one .The first step to building a relationship is making sure you both understand each other’s needs and expectations being on the same page is very important . That means you have to talk to each other! The following tips can help you and your partner create and maintain a healthy relationship:
Trust
Honestly nothing lasts without trust. Trust in a relationship is like a seed to a fertile land. What you plant is what you get. If you want your relationship to last long, it is important that you trust solely. Don’t go snooping through your spouse’s phone to see who he or she has been chatting with. Truth is if you go on long enough suspecting something, someday you’ll see something that isn’t there and that may destroy what you spent years building. You have to trust your partner.
If I were your boyfriend and I notice that you’re the snooping type who has trust issues. I’ll be clean before you and dirty behind. Now all these happened because you refused to trust me. Sometimes our distrust pushes our partners into doing what we were pushing them away from in the first place.
Communication:
Communication matters a lot. No! I don’t mean if you two are ten thousand kilometers away from each other you should call her three times a day. That’s a vibe killer. In no distant time you’ll be a bug to her or him no matter how strong the love is. You can send SMS in the morning to make her smile and call at night to check up on how her day went. Or you may just send in a pop message by 12 or 1 pm to remind her you love her and at night you call to check up. Now it is understandable that some people don’t like making calls. They prefer texting you and calling for two minutes or three just to hear your voice. If you fall under this category, you should let your partner know that. If you two prefer texting to calling, then you can chat from Whatsapp into Messenger all day long and call at night to say good night. All I’m trying to say is this,  you have to always keep in touch with your partner or someone else will.
No Internet Love
Keep your relationship away from the eyes of the Internet. Yes, you may say its your choice to flaunt a picture of yourself and your girl kissing because it shows how much you love her. True. Some people will see it from your perspective and the rest of the world won’t. It hasn’t helped anyone I know. Maybe it has helped those you know. But being more private about what goes on in your love life pays better.

When he buys you a gold watch or when you two fight,  keep it away from the net. Because eventually, external eyes, insinuations, ideas and advises will come in, more than you can control- mostly bad ones. So, if you love your boyfriend, call him on the phone and say those words to him, if you guys are in a fight, get your shit together and wax stronger after the disagreement. Don’t bring in a third party in your affairs,  don’t keep netizens in the loop of what’s going on between you and Bae.

relationship
Be Open, Be Real:
A wise man once said ” a relationship is a place of expression not impressions” that wise man is me.  LOL.
But that’s the honest truth. Lots of relationships crash today because partners are trying to impress their lovers instead of expressing their love and their true selves. Be you, if you’re naughty, let her know, if you’re a foodie let him know. Joke about your flaws.
Have you asked yourself this question: How much of me does my partner know? Does he know that your father lives in a face me I face you compound while you form tush before him? Does she know that your mother fries Akara to keep you in school? Does she know that you don’t have hundreds of thousands in your account? Is she loving the person who you are showing her or the person who you really are?
I once had a rich girlfriend whose father is ten times richer than my family put together and all the while I never for one day tried to act rich. I told her who I am and where I am come from; she understood and loved me for that person I am. Sometimes she took me out and when I offered to pay the bills she whispered jokingly in my ears,” you don’t have money biko”. And sometimes she called me and said “baby, come and buy me Ice cream” and I gladly did.
When you and your partner understand this rule, you’ll be best of friends. After all,  what’s better than dating someone who knows and understands the real you?
Keep It To Yourself:
The amount of information you share with your friends may help save you from betrayal and heartbreaks. For example, if your man is a sex God who knows the theatrics of taking you to the moon and stars while on bed, then it’s important that you keep that information to yourself no matter how lucky he makes you feel and moan. Humans are naturally insatiable. Your friend may have never experienced orgasm before and here you are telling her that your boyfriend who says Hi to her with a smile whenever he comes around has a wonder man between his legs. Same thing applies to boys. We naturally want that which belongs to someone else.
Try not to be the one giving it out unknowingly.
Block Out The Society:
It’s only natural for the society to laugh at your type of boyfriend, the way he dresses, how much he earns, whether he takes you out for shopping or not. They’ll pick on her choice of hair, makeup, intelligence and background. Decide what you want and block the society out. Countless people have left their husbands to marry their boyfriend because of what the society thinks. Always remember that you went into this relationship for yourself so if there are any flaws in it, be the ones to find them -don’t let the society do it for you. Your happiness counts not theirs. Love is respect.
What they think shouldn’t matter.

Distance:

Don’t go into a distant relationship if you are not built for it. Yes some people are built for distance. They don’t want their partner around till an agreed time comes. If you can’t stay without seeing your girlfriend for a week please don’t go into one where you won’t see her for two months or a year. You’ll have ideas and thoughts that won’t do you two any good. If you have trust issues, avoid distance relationship. It’s has a slim chance of going through without heartbreaks and regrets.

internet love
Sex
Sex is important in a relationship. Truth is the society today has begun to see it as a fuel for every relationship to run well. If you have decided not to have sex till you are married, it is important you find someone who wants same. You can’t keep a healthy relationship if you have a cute boyfriend who is a sex addict and tell him you want to wait till you two are married before you can have sex. He may try to abstain but we all know how that ends eventually
Set A Goal:
When you get a new job, you start saving, list priorities and projects for yourself. When you make it to the start of a new year, you make resolutions. Now see your relationship as an extension of your life. You should sit with your partner and ask yourselves these questions:
What do we stand to gain from this relationship?
Where do we want it to lead us to?
How much of us are we willing to give to this relationship?
When you get the right answers to those questions, you’ll find yourself trying not to loose the relationship.
Remember we are all humans and capable of making mistakes.
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